Marty Chandler — ES 2021 (Director)
There are so many things one could say about Marty, and yet none of these things would be quite right. It’s like folding a fitted sheet. You can scrunch it up, pull one corner to the next, squish it together, beg it to stay tight to itself. And yet nothing will really suffice. It’s a fitted sheet. We try and try and try, and yet we never land on the right way of doing it. But we do our best anyway. And in this life—this ephemeral, beautiful life—isn’t that all we can do? Our best? Oh yeah. This was supposed to say something about Marty now, wasn’t it?
Carlos Guanche — TC 2020
Carlos has been waiting for centuries for the planets to align in such a way that he may open the stargate to his birth reality, whose name is so complex that no human language can express it save Italian. During his stay on Earth, he has invented (but never learned to play) such instruments as the piano, the lyre, and the axle harp, ridden motorcycles on pirate ships, become a professional gecko trainer, and licked a great many things to claim them as his own. He hopes soon to set fire to the rain, though he’s not quite sure how he’ll go about it.
Lulu Klebanoff — GH 2020
Joe, or Alejandro Chavez as she’s commonly known east of Tripoli, is considered one of the most mystifying historical figure since Rocky Balboa. She was told as a youth that she would grow up to be the first person to win the Kentucky Derby without a horse and has been meticulously studying the movements of equestrian mammals ever since. Her hobbies include watching people knit, pretending to be an earth-bender, contemplating how popcorn works, making absurdly delicious omelettes, standing on soapboxes while loudly proselytizing arbitrarily concocted philosophical axioms, and impersonating koala bears.
Zachary Rosen — TC 2020
Though archeological evidence remains inconclusive, shards of ancient Sumerian pottery indicate Zak, or Zaírkuriyel, as he was known then, is approximately 7,429 years old. He was thought to have died alongside his lover, Lord Byron, fighting for Greek independence, but mysteriously reappeared after the assassination of Franz Ferdinand (the band, not the archduke). He has been implicated in numerous happenings since, including the Watergate Scandal, the eruption of Mount St. Helens, and Björk. His hobbies include aeromancy, the letter Q, world-building, and perpetually remaining in visceral fear of the void.